Posted on May 08 2024
Hi there, my name is Joanne Lin Teo!
I am a mom of four kids ,aged between 14 and 9 ( 3 girls and a boy), 2 kids in secondary and 2 kids in primary school.
I'm currently a daughter, wife, mother, a daughter in law, a driver, a cook , a teacher, an electrician and the list just goes on, not forgetting I am a business owner.
I had my first child at 28 years old and my last at 33 years old. I had a miscarriage at 34 and I would love to have more if I had started much younger! But as of now, I think I am good. My heart and my hands are so full now.
My parenting style is: Work Hard Play Hard.
Three words to describe my motherhood journey are: Fulfilling, Amazing and Rewarding
1. Did you always want to have a big family? And why?
Yes, I have always wanted more than 1 kid in the family because I grew up with my other 5 siblings in the family. Though they are much older than me, I guess its more of the companionship and the perpetual playdate that you could have all the time.
My kids are always playing with each other whenever at home or even during holidays. So they are never short of playmates. See how they love each other, other than the occasional bickering, it warms my heart. They filled my heart and complete me.
2. What was the hardest part or jump in the number of children for you?
One of the hardest truths is to feel the need to be there constantly for their milestones especially when they are little.
I think when it comes to having a pair of girls to having another pair of children was the biggest jump because you feel that you need more than 1 pair of hands to carry them, to hold their hands. Especially when we are crossing the road out in foreign land.
We have to make sure that two adults are there for the four children. Hence the ratios between the adults and children on trip are the first considerations when they are
little.
3. Are there any fears you have as a mom of multiple children.
I guess this fear started since the day I was pregnant with my first baby, the fear of her not moving in my tummy and trying to make sure I feel her kicks when carrying her in me.
The fear of not being able to be there for each of them at their milestones was the biggest fear I have as a mother of many children.
But I guess with time goes by, these fears somehow became uncalled for because we could only be there for everyone at the right time. Still have fears but I will never let these fears stop me of having fun
as a mother.
4. If you are working, tell us how you juggle that with your family life, and what a day in your life looks like. Tell us about what you used to do before you made the switch, and what your
day typically looks like.
My weekday typically starts at 6am, getting myself ready and waking the kids up before the school drop off to different schools now as they are all in different tertiary level.
After the drop off, I will be heading to office and start work proper at 730am. Having catch up meetings with my teammates from Singapore as well as Vietnam Team. Occasion lunch date with Wilson my husband as we work in the same office before, I head on to pick my kids from school.
After the pickup, I will usually be working with my younger ones on finishing their homework or sending them for their respective classes or activities.
Back home to prepare dinner or if the time doesn’t permit, I will give instruction to my helper what to prepare for dinner or many time of late, I will leave the cooking to my mother-in-law as she has recently retired since covid. Hence that extra help really matters a lot when you are always on the run to pick and drop off the children.
We would usually catch up during dinner on what happened in school with the kids and listening to their stories and catch up with the elderly too with the current affairs locally or internationally.
Bedtime is usually early because everyone has to wake up early the next morning.
Weekends are usually more fun as we have learnt to keep Friday a causal night for all so that the kids could catch up with their tv time, game time and parents to have our date nights too.
5. Do you ever feel overwhelmed by the demands of motherhood, and can you describe a time you felt that way? How did you navigate through it?
As a working mum of four children, the struggle is real, I have cried and fought hard to ensure that I
have enough time for everyone and everything I’ve had to do.
Many times, I stayed up till the wee hours to ensure that I have replied all my work emails, prepare for presentations and find business opportunities, all while the kids are fast asleep.
When I was finally ready to turn in, I realized it’s dawn and it’s time to prepare breakfast for the children before sending them off to school.
It’s inevitable that with the toil, I have taken out my tiredness and frustration on the kids, husband and also jeopardized with my health.
Over time, I have learnt that the key to maintaining a balance in work-life existence is prioritizing and managing expectations realistically, as no one is perfect, not even me.
Also, it’s important to accept your failings as much as your success and love yourself; love yourself so that you can love others.
6. How do balance nurturing your children's individuality while fostering a sense of unity within your family?
I guess every child has its strengths and weaknesses, a need to evaluate and discuss with your partner to see if both are seeing the common traits of their individually.
It is like an operational chart at work, to see who is better at certain roles, delegating of the tasks accordingly to their strength and weaknesses to be so that they could grow and have better self esteem with the allocation.
7. What sacrifices have you made for your children, and do you have any regrets?
Well, I guess there are many sacrifices through my motherhood since the day I have decided to become a mother. I had never written these sacrifices because to me, these were needed to ensure the smooth transition at different stages of motherhood.
I wouldn’t say I have any regrets at this point because I think it’s the way we look at things in life.
Like how we navigate to compromise with our better half in who is in better position to raise the kids at
base and who could bring bread home to provide for the kids.
8. What has been the toughest challenge in your life as a mom? And how did you get through that?
The toughest challenge at this point as I am writing this, I guess would be the day when I found out that my third child has dyslexia in September 2023.
I felt the immerse mom guilt when I realized that she could have been struggling through the years in primary school which I might had totally overlooked.
I remembered myself crying every single day when I am alone at work or even when I am driving.
And each time I think about that, I would be filled my eyes with tears.
But I am glad those darkest days are over for me now, I still get emotional at times but with the vast information through online, and with friends support and early intervention.
We are currently working with her and supporting her in this journey.
Building up her self-esteem and confidences building, i wouldn’t say I am out of it; I would say that we are in the work in progress stage.
This is a lifelong commitment and we are all in with her whole heartedly.
9. Can you share a moment when you felt immense pride in your role as a mother? Or can you look back on a moment where you've thought, this was all worth it.
Immense pride moments I have many, but particularly one that I could remember most recent would be the family trip in Phuket this march holiday.
Seeing how my four children Step up and taking roles individually so that both Wilson and myself could take a seat behind at the meals department during the trip.
My eldest daughter washing dishes and taking on the role of watching over the younger siblings.
My second daughter prepared the meals from the preparation of the meals to cooking.
My third daughter took up the role in preparing the desserts and my youngest son initiative in games engagement for the family throughout the trip.
These are the little things in life that build memories in our memory bank.
10. Looking back on your journey, what advice would you give to other mothers who may be facing
similar challenges? (Or debating whether or not to have more children.)
Embrace The Moment.
There is always a time for work and family.
We will never be able to find an equilibrium between work and family life but it is possible to make that happen by consciously prioritizing your focus on work when in work mode and family during family time.
Always have faith in your choices and lastly, enjoy the journey together as a family.